Last week I dealt with how those who operate from self-centered love perceive and achieve control. This week I will focus on how those who operate from a God-centered love perceive and achieve control. I will start by contrasting how each perceives control.
Last week I stated that those who operate from self-centered love perceive oneness as the ability to get their spouse to do what they want them to do. They perceive in this manner because their source of love is flesh/human. In contrast, those who dwell in God through daily surrender to Jesus perceive control as the ability to meet the need or needs of the marriage in a selfless and sacrificial manner.
For example, the deciding factor for who controls the money or budget is dependent on who has the greatest ability to serve in that capacity in a selfless and sacrificial manner: They perceive control in this manner because the source of their love is God/Jesus who gives them the ability to focus on giving rather than receiving; on serving more than on being served.
Those who dwell in God’s love have the ability to recognize and appreciate the gifts and talents of their spouse and yield to those gifts and talents without fear of losing control or the ability to get what they what. They can do this because they are both dwelling and growing in God’s love which fulfills them and cast out their fear (see Colossians 2:8-10 & I John 4:16-18).
Therefore, those who perceive and achieve control from God-centered love will enjoy a oneness that increases the effectiveness of both spouses because control is based on one’s ability to most effectively meet the need(s) of the marriage in a selfless and sacrificial manner.
Next week I am going to deal with the third and most misunderstood aspect of oneness: Submission. Until then I once again leave you with this portion of scripture:
20:25 But Jesus called them [unto him], and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. 20:26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; 20:27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. Matthew 20:25-28 (Emphasis supplied).